Funny Sms Love

kyu tum bin tum pe aitbaar hota hai…..
kyu ankhein band kar ke hi deedar hota hai….
kyu meri dhadkno ka unke dil ke sath eqraar hota hai….
hum kaise maan ley ai khuda is qadar pyar hota hai….
kyu unke bagair mera har pal beqar hota hai…
kyu unko milne ke liye mera dil har pal beqrar hota hai….
najane fir kyu unke guroor pe hme aitbaar hota hai….
hum kaise maan ley ai khuda is qadar pyar hota hai….

Mere Marne ke baad aey dost aansoo mat bahana…
agar yaad aaye meri to seedhe upar chale aana…
Agar waha me na dikhu to samajh lena tu narak me hai…

Arz hai unki galiyon ke chakkar kaat kaatte
kutte hamare yaar ho gaye,
wo to hamare na ho sake par hum
kutton ke sardar ho gaye…

Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho,
hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.

Tum paas hot to tujhpe pyar aata hai,
Tum door ho to tera intezaar satata hai.
Kya kahe is dil ki haalat ki,
Tujhe yaad kar karke hume bukhaar ho jaata hai.

Amiri ke khwab Dekhne laga,
Angreji Sharab Chakhane laga,
Baap ne kabhi Pager nahi dekha,
aur beta Mobile rakhne laga!!!

Mandir mein jap karta hoon,
Masjid mein adab karta hoon,
insan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun
isliye roz tujhko SMS karke pap karta hoon

Hotho se jo choo liya,
Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
Aankhe Nam hai, Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain…
Aur kyo na ho… Khayi Bhi to ‘HARI Mirchi…’hai…

Andhe ke hath me “TORCH”,
Bahare ke hath me “RADIO”,
Gunge ke hath me “MIKE”,
AUR AAP KE HATH ME “MOBILE”
WAH WAH Kya Jamana Aaya hai!!!*

If v treat her nice she says “yaar mujhe line de raha hai”
If v dont she says “kitna akarta hai”
If v dress nicely she says “mujhe impress karna chahta hai”
If v dont she says “tasteless hai yaar”
If v argue with her she says “ziddi hai”
If v sit quietly she says “dumb hai”
If v act smarter she’ll lose her brain as u r insulting her
If she acts smarter she thinks its her right
If v dont love her she says “is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai”
If v love her she says “peechhe hi pad gayaa hai”
If v dont tell her ur prob she says ” u r not honest 2 me”
If u do tell to her she says “u r a problem child”
If v scold her she says “you act like a grandpa giving lecture”
If she scolds us she says “Yaar, its becoz i care”
If v break a promise she says “She does not trust u any more”
If she breaks she says “jaan main majboor thi….
ladkiyan re ladkiyan . .
bechare boys itna sab sehke bhi chup chap rehte

Bandar ki Beti Apne Baap se Boli
Papa Papa Mujhe Shadi Karni Hai
Beta thoda intezar karo kyonki
Dulha Abhi SMS Read Kar Rahi hai

PANI AANAY KI BAAT KARTE HOO
DIL JALANE KI BAAT KARTE HOO
CHAR DIN SE MOO NAHI DHOIYA
TUM NAHANE KI BAAT KARTE HOO

Jis taraf dekho apka hi naam hai
Jis taraf dekho apka hi naam hai
upar likha hai most wanted
neeche 25 paise ka inaam hai

usne mehndi laga rakhi thi
humne uski doli utha rakhi thi
hum ko maloom tha ke woh bewafa niklegi
issi liye humne uski behan pata rakhi thi

APPLE KAT’TA HO KNIFE SE
PANI PITA HO PIPE SE
KIYA ZAMANA AGAYA HAI
JUTAI KHATA HO TUM WIFE SE

Ishq Me Dekh Tera Kya Haal Ho Gaya,
Badan Se Badbu Maar Rahi Hai,
Tujhe Nahaye Hue Zamana Ho Gaya.

Internet par ladki pataayi
Internet par ho gayi sagaayi
Internet par divorce ho gaya
Is bahaane computer ka course ho gaya

PYAR MAIN KISI NE DHOKHA KHAYA
TO KISI NE KASAM KHAI HAI
Tum WO MAJNOO HAI
JIS NE SIRF LAAT KHAI HAI

Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!

Na ishq karna mere yaar
ye ladkiya bahut satati hai
na karna in par aitbar
ye kharch bahut karwati hai
recharge tum karwa ke dete ho
or number mera lagati hai

Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi
Liya paper aur tasveer aapki banayi
Socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge
Magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi…

Umeedo ki manjil toot gayi
Aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi
Are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi
Jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi..

Pyaar Ise Kehte Hain
Jawani ko zindage ki nikhaar kehte hain,
pathjad ko chaman ka majdhaar kehte hain,
Ajeeb chalan hain duniya ka yaaro,
Ek Dhoka hain Jise hum sab PYAAR kehte hain!

Hum aise aashik hain jo gulab ko kamal bana denge,
Uski har adaa par ghazal bana denge,
Agar wo aa jayegi meri zindagi me,
To lalu ki kasam Bihar me bhi Tajmahal bana denge.

DOSTI KI KADAR KARTE HAI HUM
AASMA MEIN SITARE HAI JITNE
YAKIN NA HO TO CALL KAR KE DEKHLO
BAAT KARENGEY AAPKE MOBILE MEIN PAISE HO JITNE

Yeh jo hasinao ke baal hote hai,
ladko ko fasane ke jaal hote hai,
pee jati hai sara khoon ladko ka
tabhi to gaal itne laal hote hai..

Tum door sahi majboor sahi,
par yaad tumhari aati hai,
Jab saans wahan par
leti ho toh badboo yahaan par aati hai

DOSTI KI KADAR KARTE HAI HUM
AASMA MEIN SITARE HAI JITNE
YAKIN NA HO TO CALL KAR KE DEKHLO
BAAT KARENGEY AAPKE MOBILE MEIN PAISE HO JITNE

Majnu ko Laila ka SMS nahi aaya
Usne 3 din se khana nahi khaya.
Woh marne wala hai Laila ke pyar mein,
Aur Laila baithi hai SMS free hone ke intezar mein.

Har gali phoolon se saja rakhi hai,
Har chowk pe ladkiyan bitha rakhi hai,
Na jane kis raste se aap aaoge,
Isliye har ladki ko ek-ek raakhi thama rakhi hai.

kya meri nak tedi hai. ankhen mendki jesi hai. surat se besharm lagta hoon, pagal hoon akal nahi mujhe… phir kise ne aisa kiyo kaha meri surat tumse milte hai………….?

yr 1 : janu
yr 2 : O ji
yr 3 : sunte ho?
yr 4 : O bunty ke papa
yr 5 : kide mar gaye?

TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho…!

Lamhe judai ke bekarar karte hain,
Haalat meri mujhe laachar karte hain,
Aankhe meri pad lo kabhi,
Ham khud kaise kahe ki
hum aapse pyaar karte hain.

Tere liye agar jan vi dene pade
kurban he jan tujhpar khuda sevi na darte he hum
tumare hawas vari nigaye kaise janegi ye raj
ke duniya me sabse bada pyar tumhiko karte he hum.

DIL DOST KO DOGE TO DOST BANAOGE
SATHI KO DOGE TO SATHI BANAOGE
PYAR KARNE WALO KO DOGE TO KADAR KARWAOGE
AUR AGAR APNO KO DOGE TO PACHTAOGE…………
KHUDA KI IBADAT ME WO EK DUA HAMARI HOGI
JISME MANGI HAR KHUSHI TUMHARI HOGI
JAB BHI KOI DASTAK SUNAI DE DIL PE
TO SAMAGH LENA WO PYAR KI DASTAK HAMARI HOGI…………

likhte to nahi ho har waqt shayari ka bhoot ,dosti ki hai to dil ki baat kro ,
aaj bhut dukhi hon par phir bhi a bhej rhai hon,

i am stutent of b.c.a.1st,designer sahib,

Aane wale the mahino baad,
Station se hamara ghar door na tha.
Par hum milen unse,
Shayed unhe manjoor na tha.

Jinn: Hukam aaka?
Man: Ghar se dunai tak road banani hai
Jinn: Mushkil hai aur koi kaam bataiye
Man: Meri biwi ko aagyakari aur samajhdar bana do.
Jinn: Road single banani hai ya dabule..

Ragging k waqt ladko ne
ek ladki se kaha ,
Ek – sawal ka jawab
Do – Patna kahan hai ?
Ladki – Bihar me .
Boys – yahi pat jao itni dur jaane ki kya zarurat hai .

Wife – kitchen se aji sunte ho
aajkal mai khubsurat hoti ja rahi hue .
Husband – : tumne kaise jana
Wife :- aaj kal meri khubsurti dekhkar rotiyan bhi jalne lagi hai …..

Zindgi mohtaj nahi manzilon ki,
Waqt har manzil dikha deta hai..
Marta anhi koi kisi ki judai me,
Waqt sabko jeena sikha deta hai..
`
Dosti se aaj pyaar sharmaya hai
Teri dosti ne humein jina sikhaya hai
Kya maange khuda se hum
Woh to khud aaj mere dar par
Teri dosti maangne aaya hai.
`
Dost kabhi dosto se khafaa nahi hote..
Mil jaye dil to kabhi juda nahi hote
Bhula dena meri kamiyon ko.
Kyu ki insan kabhi khuda nahi hote….
`
Har khamoshi ka matlab inkaar nahi hota,
Har nakamyabi ka matlab haar nahi hota.
Toh kya huwa agar hum tume na pasake,
Sirf paane ka matlab pyar nahi hota.
`
Aey dost dosti pe shak na kar,
Yeh hum nahi tere nishan kehte hai,
Tu hi hai sachcha dost,
Yeh hum baar baar kehte hai.

Sapne tuut jate hai, apne ruuth jate hai,
Zindgi me kaise kaise mod aate hai,
magar jab bhi saath ho aap jaise Dosto ka…..
to raaho ke kaante bhi phuul ban jate hai…..!
`
Dil ko Dil se churaya aapne,
duur hote hue apna banaya aapne,
kabhi bhul nahi payenge aapko Dost…..
kyunki Dosti karna sikhaya hi hai aapne…..!
`
Teri Muskuraht meri pehchaan hai,
Teri Khushi meri jaan hai,
Kuch bhi nahi meri zindgi…..
Bas itna samajh le ki tera Dost hona meri shaan hai!
`
Aapki Dosti hum is tarah se nibhaenge,
aap roz khafa hona hum roz manayege,
par maan jana manaane se…..
warana bhigi palkain le k hum kahan jayenge…
`
Kisi ko apni khubiyo ka ehsas nahi hota,
Aap jaise Dosto ka milna itfak nahi hota,
Achha kuchh kiya hoga hamne,
Varna aap ho sath hamare,Ye visvas nahi hota.
`
Ek din jab hum dunia se chale jaenge,
mat sochna apko bhul jaenge,
bas ek bar asman k taraf dekhna,
mere paigam sitaro par aap k liye likhe nazar aaenge…

Roshni ho to diya jalta hai,
Shamma ho to parwana jalta hai,
Rishte na ho to Dil jalta hai,
Aur aap jaise Dost ho to Jamana jalta hai.
`
Dosto k liye ye Dosti ki saugat hogi,
naye log honge nayi baat hogi,
Hum har haal me Muskurate rahenge…..
agar tumhari Dosti humare sath hogi.
`
Doston maut se darta kaun hai,
Pyar ho jata hai darta kaun hai,
Tum jaise Dost par to dunia kurban hai,
aur tum puchhte ho ki hum par marta kaun hai.
`
Kash koi khushiyon ki dukan hoti,
usse hamari kuch pehchan hoti,
Lelete tumhare liye sari khushiyan…..
Kimat chahe uski hamari Jaan hoti.
`
Zamaana gujar gaya haathon ko milaye hue,
Muddat ho gayi nazaron ko milaye hue,
Din raat nikal gaye yaadon me khoye hue,
Ab kab samane aaoge yaar muskurate hue?

Rab se aap ki khushi mangte hain,
Duaon me aap ki hansi mangte hain,
sochte hain ki kya mange aap se…..
chalo umar bhar ki Dosti mangte hain….
`
Khuda na kare aapko kabhi koi gam mile,
khushiyan aur hansi har dam mile,
gum jab bhi bad chale aapki aur…..
khuda kare raaste me use hum mile…
`
Ankhen to Dosti me Dil ki zuban hoti hai,
Sachhi Dosti to sada bezubaan hoti hai,
Dosti me judai bhi aae to kya ghabrana…..
suna hai judai se Dosti aur bhi jawan hoti hai…..!
`
Ehsaas bahut hoga jab hum chhod k jayege,
Royenge bahut magar aasu nahi aayenge,
Jab saath na de koi to aawaj hume dena,
Aasma per bhi honge to laut aayenge.
`
Do pal ki zindgi, yu hi beet jayegi.
Kali raat k baad nayi Subah ayegi.
Agar Doston ki yaad satayegi to kasam se
aapki yaad sabse pehle aayegi…..!

Meri Dharkano me Aap ka Hi Raz Hoga,
Meri Bat Ka Bas YeHi Andaz Hoga,
Kabhi Bewafaee Nahin Karte Hum Dosti Me,
Meri Dosti Pe Aap Ko Hamesha Naz Hoga!!!
`
Har Sitara Chand k karib nahi hota,
Dil ki Daulat wala garib nahi hota,
Dost tum jaisa mila hai mukaddar se,
Har kisi ka aisa nasib nahi hota….
`
Taron ko ginne wale hum na the,
akele gungunane wale hum na the,
ye to apki Dosti ne aadat laga di…
warna kisi ko itna yaad karne wale hum na the…
`
Har khushi Dil k karib nahi hoti,
zindagi gamo se dur nahi hoti,
ae Dost is Dosti ko sanjokar rakhna,
aisi Dosti har kisi ko nasib nahi hoti…
`

Agar itni Pyari soch tumhari na hoti,
mulakat tumse humari na hoti
tadapte rehte sachche Dost k liye
agar Dosti tumse humari na hoti…

kush naseeb hi hum
hume aap jaise dost mile
kya taarif kare aapki
gitna b kare utna kam lagtha
my chiraag hotho tum roshni ho
my gulab hotho tum khushbu ho
my raat hotho tum chand ho
iss pyasi baari zindigi me paani bankar aaye ho tum
mushkil hon k waqt me haat taam kar himmat dethe ho aap
doop me chaya bankar hamesha saat rythe ho aap
kabhi aane na diya aankhome aansu
jab se tumhe mila tab se chehre pe muskurahat phir laut aayi
hai mere dost “wada kartha hu my..kuch bhi hojaye my tere saath na chodunga”….

I Was a Smoker!
Once I Read : "Smoking Is Injurious To Health"
I QUIT Smoking.
I Used To Drink WINE.
I Read: "WINE is Bad For Health"
I Left Drinking.
I LOVE Someone.
Once I Read: "Love is an illusion"
You Know What I Did?
.
.
.
.
I Left "Reading"!  

Smthing in ur smile which speaks 2 me,
smthing in ur voice which sings 4 me,
smthing in ur eyes which says 2 me dat...
u r d dearest of all..
I love You  

I am not a painter to paint you
I am not a creator to create you
I am not a destroyer to destroy you
I am not a teacher to teach you
But I am a person to love you!!!  

Umeedo ki shama dil mein mat jalana,
is jahan se alag duniya mat basana,
aaj bas mood main the to sms kar diye,
par roz intezar mein palke mat bichana

Dil se hum dillagi kiya nahi karte,
Yeh dil kisi ko diya nahi karte.
Dil ko aapka Mobile Number pasand aa gaya,
warna Hum kisi ko itne SMS kiya nahi karte....  

Kaanch ka tohfa na dena kavi,
ruth k log tod diya karte hain..
jo bahut achhe ho unse pyar mat karna kavi..
aksar achhe log hi dil tod diya karte hain  

Hath chhute to rishte nahi chhuta karte.
Waqt ke dahliz se lamhe nahi tuta karte.
Milte hain kuch insan aise zindegi me,
Jinse kabhi naate nahi tuta karte...!!  

3 monkeys escaped from the zoo...
One was caught watching TV...
Another playing football...
And the third one...
(scroll down for answer)











No its not you...

Why do u always think u r a monkey?  

A boy went 2 drop an unknown aunty 2 her home,
Aunty: beta raat bahot ho gayi hain, yahi so jao, bittoo ke room me.
Boy: nahi aunty main guest room me so jaunga
next morning a beautiful girl comes with a cup of coffee.

boy: aap kon?

girl: main bitoo.., aap kon?



boy: main chutia...  

Thought of you today, That's not new,
Thought of you yesterday + the day before too,
I will think of you tomorrow & my whole life through,
& I will think of you forever because I think the world of you.

I m feeling so happy, do u know why?
cause i m so lucky, do u know how?
cuz God loves me.
Do u know how?
coz he gave me a gift.
Do u know what?
its YOU my love.  

Do u know whats the meaning of FAMILY?
F=father
A=and
M=mother
I=i
L=love
Y=you  

Someone said, "It's hard to live alone, It's harder to choose someone to love
but the hardest part of loving is to admit that you have fallen in love
with someone who can never be yours
I replied, "and you know the best part is when you get the person you love the most
while other peoples still keep thinking it's not possible!!!"

Love is dat ocean in which even if u get drown u wont call 4 help..
coz itz d suicide which u have committed 2 begin another new beautiful life  

Teri Baho Me Simatne Ki Chahat Hai,
Tere Sath Lipatne Ki Chahat Hai,

Khuda Ko Ek Nazar Dekhne ke Baad,
Tujh Par Mar Mitne Ki Chahat Hai,

Tere Sath Guzara Har Lamha,
Apne Har Pal Tere Sath Rehne Ki Aadat Ho Gayi Hai,

Tum Pyar Bhari Ek Nazar Daalo Mujh Par,
In Aankho Ke Sagar Me Doobne Ki Chahat Hai…

Lamhe judai ke bekarar kerte hai,
Haalat mere mujhe laachar karte hai,
Aankhe meri pad lo kabhi,
Ham khud kaise kahe ki aapse pyaar karte hai…
`
Dil Ke Aaine Khaney Ki Adhoori Tasveer
Taqdeer Ki Kitaab Ki Ki Woh Adhoori Tehreer
Kisi Dil Ki Baasti Mein Ek Adhoori Jagheer
Kismat Ke Haathon Par Ek Adhoori Lakeer..
`
Aankho me samaa jao is dil me raha karna
taaron me hasa karna phoolon me khila karna
jabse tumhe dekha hai jabse tumhe paya hai
kuch hosh nahi mujhko ek nasha sa chaya hai
ab baat jo karni ho aankhon se kaha karna…
`
Meri Mulakat Ko Chahe Musibat Kehna
Apni Nazar Ko Mere Liye Nafrat Kehna
Par Akele Me Jab Ansoo Bhari Aankhe
Meri Yaad Dilaye To Jaan Use Meri Mohabbat Kehna !!
`
Mohabbat har Insan ko ajmati hai,
kisi se ruth jati hai kisi pe muskurati hai,
mohabat khel hi aisa hai
kisi ka kuch nahi jata aur kisi ki jaan hi chali jaati hai…

Kabhee Tum Miloo Kabhee Hum
Mulakato Kaa Yeh Silsila Yuhi Chaltaa Rahe

Yuhi Muskurate Raho Tum
Aur Ye Hasin Pal Ka Safar Yuhi Chalta Rahe

Shaam Ho Tandi Hawa Chale
Tumhari Kushbu Hum Yuhi Mehsus Karte Rahe

Raat Ho Chandini Ka Intezaar Na Rahe
Subah Ho To Roshni Ka Nazar Na Rahe

Tum Ho Sirf Tum
Tumhare Siva Humhe Kisi Ki Etbaar Hi Na Rahe…

Dil se kabhi mujhe yaad kiya karo,
Itna gair na samjho call nahi toa atleast
Miss call toa kar liya karo

Zindagi mein tum iss tarah jaise ki bahar aayi
Pyar iss tarah kiya ki gulzar aayi
Khush hum aise huae ki jaise basant ki fuhar aayi
Tumne dhokha iss tarah diya ki dil mai heartattack aayi

Socha tha har modd pe tumhara intezar karenge,
Socha tha har modd pe tumhara intezar karenge,
Magar kambakhat sali sadak hi seedhi nikli.

Itna khusnasib to hum na the
Hamari taqdia mai sitam kam na the
Fir kyo hum kuda ko itna bha gye
ki Banakar Dost aap Hamare zindgi me aa gaye

Shayar hoon arj karta hoon shayari
Sunlo itni bhi nahi hi buri
Varna murder kardoonga mere paas hai churi…

Yeh exam ke rishte bhi ajeeb hote hai,
Sab apne apne naseeb hote hai,
Rahte hai jo nigaho se duur,
Saale wahi question compulsary hote hai.

Gaa toh hum Bhi sakte hai,
Agar awaaz hot toh.
Baja toh hum bhi sakte hai,
Agar Saaz ho toh.
Kaun kehta hai Tajmahal Shahjahan ne Banaya,
Bana toh hum bhi sakte hai,
Agar Mumtaj ho toh…

Khayal ko kissi aahat ki aas rehti hai,
Nigah ko kissi soorat ki talash rehti hai,
Tere bin koi kami toa nhi hai dost,
Bass gali waali jamadarni udhas rehti hai…
`
Jab bhi hota hain deedar,
dil dhadakta hai baar baar,
par yeh sochkar kehte hain,
ki kab chukaaoge mera uddhaar…
`
Humne bhi kabhi pyar kiya tha,
thoda nai besumar kiya tha,
dil tut kar reh gaya,
jab usne kaha,aree Maine to Majak kiya tha…
`
Sher Sunaata hoon zara ghor se suno,
Main Sher Sunaata hoon zara ghor se suno,
Ja mein nahi sunata kisi our se suno …
`
Jawani ke din chamkile hon gaye,
husn ke tever nokile ho gaye,
faisla lene me itne dhile ho gaye,
ki unke haath peele ho gaye….
`
Wo chham chham kar ke aayi
wo chham chham kar ke chali gayi
main sindoor le kar khada tha
wo rakhi bandh kar chali gayi..
`
Log ruthkar rah jaatein hai,
Dil ki baat dil mein daba jaate hain,
Zamana teji ka hai,
Phir kyon nahin aeroplane si udaan bharte hain!
Kalam se khat par leekh kar kabootar udaana hua ab poorana,
Sonchtein hain yeh to zamana hua deewana!
`
Pani Main Tairna machali ka style
Hawa me udna panchi ka style
Different msgs bhejna FANNAH ka style
Fukat ka msg padhna aur fwd karna aapka style .
`
Kehne ko toa kichar me bhi ham kamal khila de ,
Magar kuch soch ke ruk jaate hain .
Tum kanto me jeene ki baat karte ho,
Hum to kaanto ko bhi phool bana dete hain.
`
Usne mehndi laga rakhi thi ,
Hamne uski doli utha rakhi thi ,
Hame maloom tha ke vo bewafa niklegi ,
Isliye hamne uski behen pata rakhi thi….
`
Kya hua jo usne racha li mehndi,
Hamm bhi aab sehra sajayenge,
Mujhe ptta tha ke vo aapne naseeb main nhi hai,
Ab uski chotti behen ko fasayenge…..

Mere Dost Tum Bhi Likha Karo Shayari
Tumhara Bhi Meri Tarah Naam Ho Jayega
Jab Tum Par Bhi Padenge Ande Aur Tamatar
To Shaam Ki Sabji Ka Intajaam Ho Jayega…